I was lucky enough to meet this woman at a family law conference a few days ago.
#TracyGoing was a South African TV personality in the late 1990’s.
It has taken her TWENTY YEARS 20 YEARS!!! to tell her story.
Not only was she brutalized by a man she loved but then also brutalized by a legal system.
I always tell people to stay positive, stay in the Light.
I am also a realist.
There is only so far that “The Secret” and positive thinking will take you.
This is a story of a #powerhungry man filled with rage, who used alcohol, drugs, deception, & psychological games for his own self-serving purposes.
More importantly this is a story of a woman who has FINALLY FINALLY told her story.
The #metoo movement, the Reeva Steenkamp murder by Oscar Pistorius, the Ford story and many other reasons is bringing #domesticviolence and #abuse to the forefront of our society.
I will need to read and process this book Very Very slowly.
I read a few lines in the book store and had tears pour down my face.
I tried again in a coffee shop and almost vomited.
A bit like visiting Auschwitz and S22 torture facility in Cambodia, difficult stories must be read and must be known, if only to prevent the cycle from continuing.
For me, my truth is this.
Women in relationships with men who carry rage are at risk.
Regardless of how much you may love him.
His capacity for destruction is Serious.
The most important things to know is this:
YOU CANNOT LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO CHANGE HIM
YOU CANNOT PROVE YOURSELF TO HIM
YOU CANNOT PLEASE HIM because NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH
Most importantly his behavior has NOTHING to do with you.
The sooner these realities hit home, the better.
There are some amazing books being published in South Africa these days.
They are not easy to read, but they are the Truth.